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Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Midget stories

Hellooo helloooo helloooooooo!

That was supposed to be sung in a major triad, but I guess that doesn't really come across through text.

Today I have a special treat for you. I have written a series of midget stories about the lives of the good college folk who live in Creekside. I hope that it will give you a glimpse into the daily lives of the people I call my neighbors.

Introducing Jenna

Hey, so....I'm Jenna. I'm 18 and I just got an apartment and I'm in college and I am just soooo excited to be an adult!! I am so grown up. I'm not even living with my parents anymore, that's how grown up I am. I have, like, responsibilities and shit. Ok, I know my parents pay my rent. Ok, ok, they pay for everything. And yeah, I guess I don't really know how to keep my place clean. Isn't it normal to eat and drink on your porch and then leave all your shit out there?? What are bills??

Jenna Throws a Party

It was 11 p.m. on a Tuesday, and Jenna was bored. 

"Hey, wanna invite some people over?" she asked her roommates.

"Sure, it's not too late! Tell them to come over at midnight!"

So Jenna called 40 of her closest friends and they all came over at midnight that Tuesday to party. 

They blared their music and turned the bass up so loud that it was shocking the place didn't just fall to the ground. They drank their bud light and got shwasty. Then when they were nice and drunk, around 2 a.m., they went into the street and yelled about nothing in particular.

"OH MY GOD THIS IS SO COOL," Jenna said, quite loudly.

"HELL YEAH!!" her fratty friend Jake replied, smashing an empty beer can on his head. 

It was so fun staying up late and making noise that they didn't even care about the people in Kazakhstan who were being kept awake by their ruckus.

They were heading back inside when some girl came to the door in her pajamas.

"Hey guys...I was just wondering if you could turn it down a little," the poor girl pleaded, "It's a week night at 2:30 a.m. and I have class tomorrow morning."

"Oh yeah, sure, no problem!!" Jenna said sweetly. 

The girl left. Jenna turned around and said, "Ok, turn the music down for, like, five minutes, and then we'll CRANK it again like nothing ever happened!!!"

Everyone hollered and screamed because that was the greatest idea they had ever heard. 

And so the party went. And no one went to class the next day.

My parents are paying for this college thing, so it's not on me if I don't go to class! Jenna thought as she went to bed at 5.

Jenna Goes to the Pool

It was the weekend, and Jenna was bored.

"Hey, do we have any bud light?" Jenna asked her roommates.

"We always have bud light!!" her roommates replied.

And so they gathered their beer and put it in a cooler and went to the pool.

It was 90 degrees outside, and none of them had been drinking anything but beer, but it was OK because they got in the pool, which is made out of water, so they weren't dehydrated right??

Jenna finished her fifth beer and looked around, confused.

"The only trash can is all the way by the pool gate!! Where the hell do I put my beer??"

Jenna didn't want to get out of the pool.

"Just throw it in the pool! Nobody cares!" said her fratty friend Jake.

Jenna had never heard a better idea.

"What about my cigarette?" Jenna asked.

"Throw that in too when you're finished!"

That Jake sure knew what he was talking about. 

Jenna and her friends sat at the pool all day long in the sun and the heat drinking nothing but beer and smoking cigarettes and throwing their trash in the pool, and it was the best. Day. Ever. 

The End.


I hope you enjoyed my stories. They are very strongly based in reality.

I cannot wait to move out of this stupid apartment complex. 

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