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Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Biggest Baby in the World and the Madness that Ensued as a Result of its Largeness

You guys. I’m pissed. I’ma tell you a story.

The Background:

For those of you who don’t know, my family recently relocated to Chattanooga to rejoin my dad, who’s been working down here for a year. He got a position on the medical faculty at UTC and practices at Erlanger hospital and presides over OB/GYN residents.

The Incident:

Today my dad had a delivery, and it appeared that the lady would have to have a C-Section (due to her oh-my-god excessive weight and the oh-my-jesus-gracious-goodness-ouch size of her unborn baby). The chief resident was supposed to come induce labor and then do the C-Section as well. Instead, though, Mizz Chief Rez sent another resident to do the induction and then figured she’d pop over to do the C-Section. But that wasn’t the plan. So my dad just let the resident who actually showed up when he was supposed to do both.

Then Mizz Thing gets her panties all in a twist and comes out and goes off on my dad, embarrassing him and disrespecting him in front of his colleagues and other residents.

The Reaction:

A) I’m sorry, bitch, but you must not realize how incredibly lucky you are to have one of the BEST OB/GYNs in the state of Tennessee (that’s not just me speaking, that’s the state speaking) as your mentor. He gave up an amazing practice in Knoxville where he was adored by all his patients and coworkers to come here because he loves teaching.

B) Where in the HELL did you get the idea that it’s OK to speak to your superior like that? This man is not your colleague; he is your PROFESSOR and your presiding doctor. He is essentially your boss man while you’re doing your little residency thing here. You will go nowhere in the workplace speaking to people above, or even below or on the same level as, you like that.

C) That’s not how being a doctor, or any professional for that matter, works. You don’t send someone else to do your dirty work and then just show up for whatever it is you really wanted to do. Especially at this level, when you’re not actually a real freaking doctor, you might want to watch how you present yourself.

D) My dad ain’t some hobo on living under a bridge that you can talk to however you want and get away with it. He is very influential in his workplace, and guess whom he talked to about this little incident? The dean. Guess who’s got a suspension coming her way?
I hate seeing my dad upset about something that he genuinely loves to do and something that he is very, VERY good at. He is an amazing teacher and mentor. He is far too intelligent for any earth-dwelling being to be and relays that wealth of knowledge to all of his students and residents. It’s not fair to him. It’s insulting to him AND to the program to talk to him that way at all, let alone in such a public setting. Thank goodness justice will be served to this idiot girl.

Brief tangent relating this incident to my generation in general:

Here are some pro tips from someone who wasn’t raised by Sandy Douche Nozzle and Billy Ass Hat about how to go about your life in general, not just in the workplace.

1) Punctuality is important. I hate hate HATE when people are late, because there is just no reason for it. Leave yourself enough time for any accidents and incidents that may happen. God forbid, that might mean you arrive a little early. Don’t disrespect people’s time.

2) Respecting your elders isn’t just an old saying; it’s how you should live your life. The fact is that people who are older than you have more life experience. That’s how time works. Listen to what they say. If you have a question or a complaint, there’s a way to bring it up politely. And for goodness’ sakes, don’t just whine about it. Offer a solution or an alternative. Otherwise there is no reason to be talking about it.

3) Be responsible. I guess that’s kind of a catch all category that would include the first two…but still. Clean up after yourself. Dress and present yourself well. Learn to write and express yourself clearly, professionally, and concisely. Do things you aren’t asked to do. Take initiative. Don’t be lazy.

This isn’t to say that everyone around my age is like this; these things just tend to be stereotypes about my generation. I surround myself with people who are responsible, polite, and hardworking. I know so many people who work multiple jobs and pay for everything themselves, and some are younger than I am. Now, you don’t have to go out and get three jobs to be a respectable person….it’s just…what I’m trying to say here is….the basic point of this rant and all these tips is:


4) Don’t be an asshole.

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