The time I hit a pedestrian

So yesterday. Yesterday was just...a day of poop. POOP I SAY. I was just all sad and moody and shit cause of things. Yeah fun fact: My life has been a pit of confusion and sadness and terrible and it's all my own stupid fault. But yesterday I was feeling especially bad. 

And then. AND THEN.

Boyfriend was coming over and I was like, "Hey, I have three ripe avocados. Let's make guacamole!"

And he was all, "Hell yeah guacamole let's do it."

Actual conversation.

So I went to Kroger to get cilantro and an onion. And also salt. Because we were out of it. Yes, those gigantic tubs of salt do eventually run out. 

But I never made into Kroger. Because, pedestrian.

Let me give you the facts:

1. There's a crosswalk across the entrance to Kroger. 

2. It was night.

3. There are no streetlights that part of the road.

And so I'm turning into the entrance to Kroger at like...regular people driving speed. And all of a sudden there's this flash of blonde hair and I was like, Jesus H. Christ that is a human being.

And I slammed on my breaks, and I sooooorta bumped her and she slams her hands on the hood of my car and looks at me like, "What the hell???" 

So I roll down my window and ask if she's OK and she runs off. So I guess she was.

And then I noticed something: This bitch was wearing ALL BLACK.

I'm sorry, but if you're gonna be jogging at night in a place that's poorly lit, you need to wear either a)Light-colored clothes, or b)Reflective stuff.

Isn't that a rule? Am I crazy?

Anyway, I was SO freaked out last night. Like I pulled into Kroger and then I started crying and just went back home. And I drove like four streets over so I wouldn't run into her again.

Haha. I didn't even realize the pun there. 

But now it's funny. And also annoying cause she was kiiiiinda asking for it. Stupid girl. 

So yeah. I came back home and boyfriend brought me a twix and then we went back to the store and we finally MADE OUR GUACAMOLE, DAMMIT.