A Split Second

There's a moment before a trauma happens when you know that something terrible is about to occur. I felt it last year when I was hit by a car (Read about that shit here: OOTD Log: The Time I got Struck by a Vehicle), and I felt it last night, when I was robbed at gun point on a typically safe street in St. Louis.

Last night, Saturday, September 20, 2014 at 10:50 p.m., I was outside of my friend Lexie's apartment building in Central West End. We were with our friend Brian and had stopped by Lexie's place so I could change shoes before we went to Oktoberfest at the Urban Chestnut brewery downtown.

We decided to take Brian's car to Oktoberfest, so I went to put my stuff in my car and told them I would meet them back at Brian's car, which was just around the corner from mine. Brian had gone out to the patio of Lexie's building, so she went to get him while I went to my car.

I got back to Brian's car before they did. No big deal. I had seen them walking back inside from the patio and knew they would be there in less than a minute. A man walked up behind me and said, "How are you doing tonight?" He was a tall black man and my initial response was fear, but I told myself, Kelly, you don't know that he's not just a guy walking back from a bar or a restaurant, so try to stay calm. And I said, "I'm fine, how are you?"

That's where my split second occurred. I knew in that moment, right after I responded to him, that something was about to happen. And then suddenly, there was a gun two inches from my forehead and he was saying, "This is a robbery. Give me your purse." I screamed and he said, "Shut up." I looked down at the ground and threw my purse at him. He began walking away but then turned back and said, "Take your shoes off, bitch. Take them off!" I did as he said and then he went on, "Kick them over there." And I did.

Then he walked away calmly. Apparently, Brian and Lexie had heard me scream and began walking faster to get to the stairs that lead down to the sidewalk, where they saw the man walking away with my purse. He pointed the gun at them, cocked it, and said, "I just robbed your friend."

I didn't hear or see any of this, because I had immediately begun hyperventilating and crying. Lexie and Brian somehow remained calm enough to call 911 and help me to slow down my breathing.

The police got there in about 5-10 minutes, which seemed like a lifetime. They were amazingly helpful and so sweet, and made us comfortable and made us laugh. Because I have the "Find my iPhone" feature enabled, they were able to locate my purse, which was about five houses down the street in some bushes. Amazingly, it still had everything in it except for the approximately $8 in cash that I was carrying at the time.

They dusted it for prints, swabbed my cheek, and walked me back to where Brian and Lexie were standing, now accompanied by my other good friends, Taylor and Danielle, whom I had asked Brian to call.

I called my parents and my boyfriend, who were obviously upset by the news, but we stayed in touch all night as I calmed down, so hopefully they calmed down a bit as I did. Lexie and Brian stayed with me last night, which I appreciate more than words can express because I so did not want to be alone.

There have been a few times on this blog of mine that I've said something was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, or that I had the worst night of my life. This was without a doubt, one hundred percent the most scared I have ever been. I'm shaking even as I type and recount this. I remember it in snapshots—the moment I knew this man was not just another pedestrian, the whoosh of the gun as he held it up to my face, gripping a street pole and collapsing to the ground in terror and disbelief at what had just happened.

I am so unbelievably lucky to have found such a great support system here so quickly. I don't know what I would have done without my friends. To Lexie, Taylor, and Brian, you guys are my heroes and I am so so grateful for your help and concern and support. To Lexie and Brian, I do not discount the trauma that you experienced. Just because the gun was farther away from you doesn't mean it's not still a gun that was pointed at you. And thank you for staying with me last night.

I hope that they find this guy, and I hope I get to talk to him. I want to know his story and why he held a gun to a young woman's face and asked for her purse in an era when people typically carry credit cards instead of cash. I want to know what he did with those $8. I wonder if he is an addict or if he just steals, because he seemed so methodical and calm, like he's done this many times before. I wonder where he was hiding, because I didn't see him until he was right next to me. I want to know why he made me take my shoes off when I could run better barefoot. I want to know how he knew that Brian and Lexie were my friends.

But bottom line is, I'm okay. I swear to god I thought he was going to shoot me, but he didn't. Who knows if the gun was even loaded? I had trouble falling asleep, but my sweet kitten (I think it's so amazing how animals can sense when you're upset) curled up on my chest, put his head next to mine, and stayed there until I fell asleep.

And that, friends, is the very true, very real story of that one time I got mugged in St. Louis.