Giving thanks and stuff

Thank you, family, for being as crazy and weird as I am, so I know I'm never alone. Thank you for keeping me fed (STUFFED) every day, and especially today. 

Thank you, daddy, for making me a worry wart—because at least I'm conscientious and always on time—and for giving me the gift of MUSIC! And thank you for at least attempting to teach me to drive a stick shift.

Thank you, momma, for helping me be able to relax when that worrying gets too pesky, and for also giving me the gift of music, and for always singing show tunes with me!

Thank you, lil bro, for making me look younger than I actually am (not that I'm old) and for playing Polly Pockets with me when all my friends were busy.

Thank you, boyfriend, for ten-second tickle fests. Thank you for MKMKM (where did that go?? We need to bring it back!) Thank you for five-hour skype calls and thinking I'm beautiful.

Thank you, Peeja Peej, for always inspiring me and always being there for me. And also for watching scary movies with me. 

So now that we got all the mushy stuff out of the way......

Thank you, Pizza Hut, for stuffing your pizza crusts with delicious, warm, gooey cheese.

Thank you, Jimmy John's, for putting guacamole on my favorite sandwich. 

Thank you, memory foam, for the comfort you grace my head with each and every night.

Thank you, Kroger, for supplying me with avocados every week.

Thank you, Cheez its, for your great variety in types of snack mix (original wins every time though!)

Thank you, obesity, for making me look small.

Thank you, candles, for your wonderful smells that caress my nose holes when I light you.

Thank you, birth control, for preventing pregnancy like you do. That's really nice of you.

Thank you, Charmin Ultra, for being soft. After experiencing that crap they use in Europe, I am doubly grateful for your 2-ply excellence. 

Thank you, heart, for beating.

Thank you, brain, for thinking and being relatively intelligent, even though a lot of the time you really piss me off with your constant worrying. Srsly, cut it out.

Thank you, puppies, for making me happeh.

Thank you, tongue ring, for making that weird crack in my tongue just a little bit less obvious.

Thank you, Tiger Transit, for at least getting me TO campus quickly.

Thank you, hips, for being GIGANTIC, because maybe birth will be easy.

Thank you, Oreos, for being a thing. Especially when you're in a milkshake. 

Thank you, Obama, for being so adorable with your wife. (If you have not seen the photo series called, "Barack and Michelle being adorable in the White House," look that shit up. Now.)

THANK YOU, COWS, FOR BEING THE GREATEST ANIMAL EVER. YOUR AWESOMENESS CAN NEVER BE SURPASSED. YOU ARE ADORABLE AND ALSO HAVE UDDERS. ALSO, CHEESE.

And to my boobies: Thanks, ladies, for just being you. You're the best.