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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I am a medication meddler

Roommate has a problem. Her problem is this: She doesn't take medication.

Now, I am a huge fan of medicines. I take them frequently—for allergies, headaches, so I don't get my eggo preggo, etc. And I know that there are a lot of people (mainly men...not to be sexist or anything...sorry) that have this complex that taking medication makes you weak or some shit.

IT DOESN'T. It's there because, I don't know, being in pain is shitty, and allergies are shitty, and getting pregnant when you don't want to is shitty. Not wanting to experience shitty things is not a sign of weakness. It just isn't. That's also why I don't understand why people don't go to the doctor...but I'll get to that in a minute.

So anyway, roommate the other day was like, "I don't feel good..." and she said her head hurt and her whole body was just kind of achy. And I was all, "Aw I'm sorry! You should take some ibu profen and lay down." And she said she would in a sec.

THREE HOURS LATER. We're watching Atlantis and roommate is like this pathetic ball of sad on the floor, curled up with her entire bed of blankets and pillows. And she keeps saying that she just needs to shower and go to sleep. And she finally showers and gets ready for bed, and then is sitting there on her computer and I asked, "So are you feeling better?" And she said not really, and I said, "Well did you take any pain killers?" And she said no. And I said, "OH MY GOD. WRENYTH. THEY ARE RIGHT THERE." And I pointed to them (they were literally right behind her) with my fingers that I have and I said, "I AM GOING TO POINT AT THEM UNTIL YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH AND SWALLOW THEM," at which point I pointed. 

She laughed, but did not take any. So I added a foot. "DO YOU SEE THIS RIGHT NOW? I AM POINTING WITH MY HAND AND MY FOOT. DON'T YOU MAKE ME SORE FROM HOLDING MY APPENDAGES UP. DO IT. TAKE IT!!!" And she says, "I don't want to get up and get my water."

So I got up and got her goddamn water for her and handed her the pill bottle and she took some freakin ibu profen. Then guess what? She felt better.

ALL OF THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED. Have you learned your lesson, medicine avoiders? No? Let me give you another, more extreme example.

My father doesn't go to the doctor. Maybe because he is a doctor and is confident that he can diagnose himself or whatever. So anyway, his foot started hurting one day. And he was like, "Hm. This feels like gout." And he said it would just get better with time, so he continued on with his life. Then like three months later he was like, "Damn, this still hurts. It actually hurts worse." And we were like, "DAD. For the love of god, go to the dang doctor." And he did. The diagnosis? Broken foot. My father had been walking around on a BROKEN FOOT for three months. 

People, if something hurts, take medicine for it. It's there to help you. Or go to the doctor. They are also there to help you. Problems: solved. You're welcome.

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