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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The man

I have no idea what to write about today. So please enjoy this facebook wall post exchange between boyfriend and I:
Oh, this started because the other day I scared the crap out of him so he picked me up and flung me around which was terrifying cause I HATE being picked up. And I asked him why he did that and he said, "You need to know who's the man." And I said, "But I'm the man..." and this argument continued until he left. And then it continued on facebook. He posted on my wall, "I AM THE MAN." And this is what ensued...
  • ME: I, good sir, am the man.
  • BOYFRIEND: I'm the man.
  • ME: IIIIIIIIIIII AM THE MAAAAAAAN
  • BOYFRIEND: I am the man?
  • ME: i AM the man.
  • BOYFRIEND: I am the man....
  • ME: I. AM. THE. MAN.
  • BOYFRIEND: Iamtheman
  • ME: I am the man. The man, I am.
  • BOYFRIEND: The man am I.
    23 hours ago via mobile ·
  • ME: I-ay am-ay e-thay an-may
  • BOYFRIEND: A man is me.
  • ME: ‎..............We're talking about THE man here, Merv, not just A man. And I am THE man.
  • BOYFRIEND: I'm the A man.
  • ME: I am so much of the man that I don't even need a letter to qualify myself.
  • BOYFRIEND: Well at least I still have the pants.
  • ME: I have pants. I'm wearing pants right now. Know why? I think you do. It's cause I'M THE FREAKING MAN
  • BOYFRIEND: I'm in a suit.
  • ME: That doesn't make you the man. By that logic Rick Santorum is the man.
  • BOYFRIEND: THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME.
  • ME: I have boobies.
  • BOYFRIEND: That is not applicable.
  • ME: Your suit isn't applicable. Boobies always win.
  • BOYFRIEND: Suit = Man + Pants. I all sorts of win.
  • ME: The suit doesn't make the man. You have to be man enough for the suit. I am man enough for a suit. Because I am the man. The one and only.
  • BOYFRIEND: Yet here I am, in a suit. The man.
  • ME: You are a wannabe the man in a suit. As I said, just cause you're WEARING a suit doesn't mean you are man enough for it. Me. I am.
  • BOYFRIEND: I'm more than "The Man" enough for this suit and you know it.
  • ME: I'm sorry what? I couldn't read your last post. I was distracted by the manliness fountaining from all of my pores.
  • BOYFRIEND: That's not manliness, that's gross lady-juice. You should really get that checked out, girly.
  • ME: You think you know what manliness looks like. You don't. You really should though, considering how often you see me.
  • BOYFRIEND: I'm beginning to rethink some of my life choices...
  • ME: Oh I see. I understand. It's hard to live in the shadow of the man.
  • BOYFRIEND: I'm...I'm just so confused....
  • ME: It's ok. Just one of the symptoms of too much exposure to the man. Just don't punch yourself in the face like a damn stupid confused pokemon.
  • BOYFRIEND: ow
  • ME: ‎*sigh* Enough. Return to your pokeball.
  • BOYFRIEND: *INSERT BOYFRIEND'S NAME HERE* ran away!
  • ME: And by default, *INSERT MY NAME HERE* wins the match!!! *crowd cheers*

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