Gratitude is in order!

I have something to say.

THANK YOU.

Thank all of you.

I had no idea the amazing response I would get from my last post. I had a tidal wave of encouragement from so many friends, old and new, and even people I didn't know personally, and it was so wonderful.

Obviously, I was in a really really bad place the other night. Like, really bad. And I have received so many good ideas from people that I've written down and filed away to use when my anxiety creeps up, which inevitably it will. I also came across two books, The Four Agreements and The Flinch, which are both kind of just in general life-enhancing books but which I've found apply perfectly to my anxiety. The universe just knew, I guess. Everything happens for a reason!

But I've done a lot of thinking, and here is the new place where things stand: I think that if I left and came home that I would have a lot of trouble forgiving myself for leaving. And I would also probably feel even more pathetic and defeated than I did after my panic attack. But if I stay here, and battle it out with my anxiety, no matter how often and how intensely, I think I will get more out of it in the long run.

Easier said than done, but I'm hoping all the positivity I've received will last me.

I really really do want to stay here, because as I said before, this trip is as much about pushing myself and experiencing every feeling that I might have as it is about furthering my German.

So...I don't have much else to say, but I just wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart. I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me to have so much support and so many people to believe in me even when I don't believe in myself.

I love you all, and I will keep you updated all everything, good and bad, that happens!