If you're under 21, and you want to get drunk: OOTD Log #5

Today started off as a normal day. One of my roommates and I decided we wanted to go shopping. Sometimes girls do this. So we thought we'd go to the mall. Before we left, I remembered, "Oh hey, dude came to fix our alarm, so it should be working now! Let's try it out." And it was really complicated to set it, because it didn't set the way the instructions said. But I finally pressed some combination of our code, the asterisk, and the pound sign that turned it on.

So Roommate A and I went to the mall. I bought things that I shouldn't have bought because I am poor. And then we were in Maurice's about to spend more money when I received a frantic call from Roommate B. There was a horrid shrieking in the background and she was seemingly in a state of panic, telling me that the alarm was going off and it wouldn't turn off and she'd tried everything and nothing worked. 

And over the course of the next 30 minutes, my recent calls list filled up completely with calls among Roommate B, the Auburn Police, and the alarm company. And the police said, "Oh yeah, we got a call from your alarm company and we're sending someone over." And then they said I had to call the company to get them to figure out how to turn it off. So I called them and a robot lady said, "Our business hours are Monday through Friday from 8-5," and hung up on me. WELL HOW DID THEY CALL THE POLICE THEN?? 

I do not know.

So we left Maurice's and went home, where we indeed found Roommate B speaking with a cop. Whom I was afraid of. Because I am in fact afraid of all cops. And the alarm was still screaming. And the cop tried to rip it off the wall with a butter knife and then a screwdriver. And the cop opened all of our electrical boxes and unplugged everything. And finally, our neighbor (who lived there last year) came over and said, "Hey the alarm company just called me." HOW?? But anyway, then she was like, "Well since they called me, maybe my code works." And so we put it in, and then, after an HOUR of struggling with this madness, it turned off. It activated with my code, but wouldn't turn off without hers. And I stood there, staring at the alarm box after I'd input her code, and said, with a cop standing directly behind me, "Are you FUCKING kidding me."

So apparently my condo place still, after three weeks, has not changed over the codes. Really? Really. OK.

And then we looked at the cop and we were like, well sorry dude. And he was like, "It's all good! It's my job!" And I said, "Please take a brownie." And I cut him a gigantic caramel double chocolate brownie and put it on a paper plate, and he proceeded to spend some time telling us some of his favorite arrest stories. All of which started with the line, "If you're under 21, and you want to get drunk..."

Some examples:

"If you're under 21, and you want to get drunk, don't stand over there peeing behind a bush and laughing loudly. Because I will catch you."

"If you're under 21, and you want to get drunk, don't walk in front of my cop car with a bottle in your hand."

"If you're under 21, and you want to get drunk, it's probably not in your best interests to have a giant, loud party where you get the cops called on you. Then you all get arrested."

But my favorite...

"Did you guys hear about the guy that got arrested because he was riding a bike naked?" (answer, yes, this man is famous in Creekside) "Well, I'm the guy that arrested him. It's true, you're meeting a celebrity."

So officer Steve Martin (not a joke) made that shitty situation just a little bit better with his hilariousness. Sorry we brought you out on a Sunday afternoon on a holiday weekend....

It's been one of those days.