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Saturday, September 22, 2012

I'm in love with a stripper

Well....sort of. I'm actually in love with Jenna Marbles. And I don't even know if she is still a go-go dancer, but I still love her if she is not.

I went on an absolutely RIDICULOUS rampage last night of watching Jenna Marbles videos. I'm pretty sure I have now watched the majority of her stuff. From both of her channels. It was truly pathetic. I was just in my room by myself, laughing out loud and watching youtube for over an hour.

I know. Serious girl crush here. But let's take a look at the reasons why Jenna Marbles is the love of my life:

1) She doesn't give a shit. She just does not. I love that she says motherfucker every other second. She just shows that you can have hilarious comedy with cursing in it. I mean, not to say I'm not going to think somebody's not funny if they're completely clean, but I mean come on, she uses the word fuck really well. It's like she invented it. It spices everything up. It's the difference between McNuggets and Buffalo Wild Wings.

2) She shows off her awesome tittayyyys. As per one of my previous blog posts, I'm all for some cleave. And her video with tips and tricks about how to make your boobs look like they're from space is the best thing ever. Yes, it's OK to be sexy!!

3) She has the best relationship ever. At least it seems like it. Her and her boyfriend are so funny together and I love that they are just completely blunt with each other. Another lesson from Jenna. Honesty is the best policy.

4) She'll say it to your face. I mean, she posted videos about her neighbor and her roommate on the Internet, which is, you know, public domain. And she talked about how she just called her roommate out for being an asshole. Words to live by, dude. It makes me feel not alone. Because I am that bitch that will say something if you're being a dick. Which doesn't really make me a bitch, I guess. Really I'm just being helpful.
And also about boys. I don't understand what is so difficult about boys. She said that she'd rather just come up to a guy and say, hey I like you. Because it's stupid and a waste of damn time to play games. Like, the reason I have such a lengthy and numerous man past is because I'm a super forward flirt. And when people come to me for advice, they are always frustrated when I tell them to just go talk to the guy. Because apparently that's extremely difficult. But I mean, I've had pretty good results. So if you're not a complete hag, 9 times out of 10 you win. If you're scared of a 90% chance then I quit. I can't work with you.

5) She's independent. I love that she's paying for all her own stuff. And she's doing what it takes to do it. She's got a rockin' bod, so she gets money "dancing in her underwear." Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it. Slash get money for it. In a completely legal way.

6) She doesn't lie about looking good. She straight up says that nobody looks good when they wake up in the morning. She wears makeup, she does her hair, and she works for her health and her body. Because, yes, it does take more than 10 minutes to look good in the morning (unless you have genes like Giselle...in which case you are extremely lucky), and looking as fit as she does doesn't just happen.

I literally have to stop myself right now from rambling on and on. There is just too much to love. She is living my life. I feel like we would be best friends. Or we would hate each other because we're too similar.

Either way, she is legit one of my inspirations, because she reminds me that it's OK to cuss and look hot (and take a long time to do it) and speak up and do your own thing. Classy is overrated. Not everyone can be Kate Middleton. Be true to yourself, friends!!

*Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off voice* Jenna Marbles, you're my hero.

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