The Journey of the Tonsils

It is time for another adventure with Kelly. This adventure is called: "Come Along With Me as I Fear Getting My Tonsils Removed and Then When I'm Loopy and in Pain After."

It's a working title.

Six days from now, I am getting a tonsillectomy.

Dun

Dun

Dun

As per usge with anything that's not, like, brushing my teeth, I'm fuh-REAKIN out, man. So, in an attempt to calm myself, I have come up with some possible scenarios regarding my operation:

1. The knife slips from my doctor's hand while I'm asleep and he accidentally cuts a vital artery and I bleed to death.

Now, this isn't likely, but it is possible. And how shitty would that be?? "I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Tsaltas, but it seems we've had a statistical anomaly occur. A rabid baby mouse got into the operating room and bit me in the ass, causing the knife to slip and cut your daughter's throat and now she's dead."

Oops.

2. My scabs fall off (yes, that's a thing, you have scabs on your throat after this madness) and I choke on them and die because no one is home, or someone is home but they don't know the Heimlich maneuver.

Now, this is even less likely because a) My dad totally knows the Heimlich and b) The scabs are supposed to be so small that you don't even notice when they come off. But sometimes they do bleed....

3. I bleed so much when my scabs fall off that I die.

Bleeding is actually the number one complication from this surgery, and there is a 3% chance (don't discount that, I am frequently the 3%) that I will bleed so much that I have to go back to the hospital. But what if I can't get to the hospital and bleed to death in my living room?? OR THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BLOOD FOR A TRANSFUSION AND I DIE BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO GIVE BLOOD LIKE I AM? 

4. I take too many pain meds and overdose. And die.

Hopefully I will be able to monitor how often I've been taking them, but you never do know how loopy these things will make you...

5. I get in a car accident on the way to the hospital and am afflicted with slight death. 

Although I am afraid of this surgery, I do think a tonsillectomy would be preferable to a car crash.

6. I get delirium from the fever that accompanies this surgery and forget where I am and wander into the street and get hit by a car and receive injuries including dying.

Hey, I don't know how high this fever is gonna get. It could get THAT high. I DON'T KNOW. DON'T JUDGE ME.

7. Everything is fine.

This might seem like the most likely scenario, but you never know. It COULD be the case that I go home and my throat hurts really bad for a couple of days but I don't bleed and don't have a high fever and heal fine.... 

OR A RABID BABY MOUSE COULD BITE MY DOCTOR IN THE ASS.