Lazy pants. I wear them.

I have something serious to share with you guys.

I have a disorder. It is a disorder of laziness and a lack of motivation to do ANYTHING.

And it's weird, because I have so much energy and I love being with people and talking and having a good time and whatever. But fundamentally, I am like that obese cat that just lies around all day and eats all your food.

Some examples:

Showering. I hate it. Aside from the fact that it gets me clean and I like to smell good more than I like to not smell good, I would never do it. It just takes so much tiiiime. I literally avoid getting ready for bed because I don't want to take the time to freaking clean myself. Which is ironic, because wasting time also takes time. I don't know. I DON'T UNDERSTAND MYSELF.

Peeing. SO MUCH TIME. Like, come on, who wants to walk all the way to the bathroom and have to take off your pants and sit down just to pee. Ridiculous. I do not have time for that madness.

Folding clothes. Let me tell you what happens when my laundry is clean. I put it in my laundry basket and I take it upstairs. And then I look at it for a while and consider not putting it away, but I'm a neat freak and hate mess so I do put it away. But I do it as simply as possible. I tend to take my shirts off so they end up inside out, and so they get washed inside out, and what do I do? I fold them inside out. Who has time to turn that shit around? I just do it when I want to wear it. Which, again, I guess it's the same amount of time spent just at different points...whatever.

Doing homework. I don't. Well, I did in high school. But now that I'm in college and we don't actually have homework, I just don't study. I don't know why I buy the books. I read about two chapters because I'm like, "Hell yeah, new semester, I'ma be on it now!! I will read ALL OF THE CHAPTERS." It has not happened yet, and I highly doubt that it will. But see, it's OK, because I'm that asshole that doesn't study and then gets a 100 on the test. I know. I'm blessed. You can probably thank my dad for that one.

Comics. I don't read them if they have too many words. I mean seriously, how effing lazy is that?? I have the ROFL pics app and I love it, but if a comic has more than six frames or a lot of words, I just bypass it. I NEED MY FUNNY NOW.

Please tell me someone else has this obnoxious disorder. I don't want to be alone in my laziness...