It's been super fun.
Now, I'm no stranger to the A/C-less lifestyle. Here is a blog I wrote several years ago about my experience studying abroad during a heat wave: [Condition the air, Europe].
I've accumulated some tips to help get you through those hot, steamy nights. Not the fun kind of hot and steamy. The gross kind of hot and steamy where you wake up and think you peed yourself but it's actually just sweat and dear god you are literally on fire.
- Take a cold ass shower. It's funny that I phrased it that way because this actually has two meanings. Firstly, your shower water should be cold af. It is everything you want it to be and more. Secondly, use said cold water to ensure the cleanliness of your nether regions. Swamp ass isn't cute.
- Next, you should probably call your landlord. She hates you. And even though you usually passively aggressively imply that you also hate her, now is not the time for your childish pettiness. Be kind as fuck because your A/C is broken and you need that shit fixed ASAP.
- Put a wash cloth in the freezer. Take out wash cloth after half an hour. Place on face. Revel in the magic.
- Do not, I repeat, DO NOT cook macaroni and cheese. You will regret this for the rest of your life, even though it is your favorite food. Gas stoves should under no circumstances be utilized when there is no air conditioning. Easy Mac could be the exception. I don't know for sure, but it could be.
- Have windows that work correctly. Take a pre-emptive strike against the vague possibility that your a/c could one day in the future break down, and ensure that the windows in your apartment/home are, you know, working and also close properly. Otherwise Satan's air slips in through all the cracks and your apartment becomes the eighth circle of hell.
- Sequester yourself in your bedroom. Sit on floor. Cry quietly to self while pointing fan at nether regions.
- Go for a drive. Go to a movie. Go stand in the freezer aisle of the grocery store. Find air conditioning and never let it go.
- Don't have a memory foam bed. If you do have a memory foam bed, you should probably not sleep on it because it will be hotter than Satan's balls on fire. In fact, you should just buy a new bed altogether because your memory foam bed has probably trapped all of your sweaty hot disgustingness and you will never be comfortable again. #catastrophizing
- Call brother and whine. Brothers are good for this. Brothers laugh at you but also listen to your whining with grace. This is an acceptable trade off.
- Maybe don't do laundry at a laundromat where there is also no air conditioning. Dumb. This was a dumb choice that I made.
- Do not sleep naked. Naked sleeping is a sticky situation. Would not recommend.
How did our forefathers do it? Mad respect, yo. Happy cooling.
