Girls vs. Boys

So I was peeing a minute ago and I thought to myself, how nice would it be to aim? And that is when I decided that I should make a list of the pros and cons of being a boy or girl and see who wins. 

Girls: Pros

Boobies. They are fun to play with and also feed babies.

Vag. We don't have a bulky, extremely sensitive organ hanging between our legs. So that's nice.

Having babies. This is also a con, I suppose, because of the pain, but we also get the awesomeness of the mommy-baby bond. Can't be broken, yo.

Free drinks. Thanks for that, boobies. 

We can make ourselves look prettier with makeup. Woot!

Girls: Cons

Getting ready for stuff. The day, a dance, a date, whatever. We have hair and makeup to do. Boooo.

Lack of pee aim. As stated above, this is what started this whole thing. Why, pee, why do you decide to suddenly stream sideways? Just go down. Do it.

Period/PMS. Two weeks out of every month just suck. One week we're pissed off at everything and the next we're bleeding. Half our lives, people, half our lives. Until menopause. Oh yeah...

...Menopause. Yayyyy like PMS but for LONGER.

Having babies. I have heard it is painful.

Being overprotected. Daddy's little girl = harsh dating rules. Or no dating. Or just general restriction in the area of social life.

Boys: Pros

Pee aim. Well, I'll be honest, some of you suck at it. You have the ability. Use it! Don't get pee all over the toilet. Gross.

No PMS. Or bleeding. Lucky bastards.

Strength. You have the ability to open all the jars. 

No shirt. 'twould be nice to be able to walk around without a shirt. Probably keeps you cooler. 

Boys: Cons

Penises (actually, Penes). I'll just group it into one, but there are a lot of bummer things about them. Random boners, the fact that stuff comes out of it, it hurts if you hit it wrong. Penises are no fun.

Spending money. Even though it's always preached that dating rules have changed, etc., it's still common for the dude to pay. It adds up.

You can't use makeup to cover up pimples. HA.

Itchy beard syndrome. You know, when you don't shave for a day and then your face/neck is like, SCRATCH ME ALWAYS THANK YOU.

Dealing with ladies. I know I know, we get difficult around the PMS time and the menopause (I've heard). And if you love us, you gotta put up with it. Sucks.

Your voice during puberty. Cracky McCrackerson. 

Ok Those aren't even at all....I'm sure there are many more pros than I found. And probably cons too. Let me know what I missed in the comments. Slash who you think wins. I can't decide. I like being a girl, but being a boy seems nice too.

And for the love of god, my friends, send me your dangflab guest blog stories. Everyone keeps saying they will and then DOESN'T. DOOOO EEEEEET.