Morning poops and plane death

Today it happened. It was 9:45. I had five minutes until I had to leave for my history class. And I felt the urge. Yep, I definitely had to poop.

Don't you hate morning poops?? Because it always hits you just before you have to leave. And maybe you'll have enough time. It could be one of those "Swoosh! I'm out! Go on to class, now!" poops, but it could also be one of those "URGHHHHHHHHHH" poops. What a dilemma. How do you know which one it's going to be? Should you take the risk of pooping or wait until after class?

I chose to wait today so that I would have time to eat my banana nut creme bread, which is not quite as delicious as it sounds. But I am out of milk and did not have time for oatmeal, so mediocre banana-flavored nutty bread it was.

While we're still on the subject of poop (here my thought process is nuts--fiber--still thinking about poop) I am practically shitting my pants about studying abroad this summer. My flights are finalized and I'm pretty much done with my application and now I just have all this preliminary stuff to read. I am again exhibiting my profound overreaction skills with inner thoughts such as these:

What if I get deathly ill on the plane?? I have 9 HOURS until we land and I will be dying the whole time.  Dying of death. Nobody will be able to help me. What if they arrest me at the airport because my tongue ring sets off the sensor and they don't believe me that it's just a titanium bar (even though, naturally, I could take it out) and I spend months as a prisoner in a Viennese facility and my phone doesn't have service so I can't call anyone and no one speaks English and they forget to feed me my daily gruel and I STARVE TO DEATH???

Please note that both of these scenarios end in death.

It is much more likely that I will not die on the plane, will have a wonderful time studying in Vienna (which I will blog about SO MUCH), and will return safely home sans additions to my criminal record based on incidents caused by the metal in my tongue.

Anyone else studying abroad? Where? Are you as stupid nervous as I am?

Here is a picture of the plane I am afraid I will die on: